Two Roads

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-- I chose to trudge through the brush. This article is about people who think they need special treatment because they can't make a decision. These people drive Subarus. I know this because Subaru is Japanese or Korean, or whatever language it is for "I DON'T KNOW, I DON'T KNOW, I DON'T KNOW!" I know that's what it means because if you look at their vehicles, you can tell the engineers were making decisions by compromise and back-room deals. Consider the Baja. Incidentally, it's also U R A BUS backwards.

I'm on the SBA Senate here at the law school. It's not really an honor because I was appointed to take care of the bookstore. I wasn't even elected. But, being on the senate provides some interesting opportunities to watch people give themselves a verbal massage. I'm talking about people who feel better because they can hear themselves talking. This meeting runs for about an hour and a half. If I had 3 muzzles, I could cut the meeting down to about 10 minutes. Three people keep the meeting running for 10 times as long as it should. Grrrr!

What I'm writing about today is not that people talk too much. I'm about to launch into something that people with highly sensitive feelings will be offended by. So, if you're easily offended, HA! GO JUMP IN A LAKE!!!! The issue that came up yesterday was whether we should include a box to check on the law school application for (moment to wipe the eyes from laughing) transgendered people. Oh, I know it's a highly volatile subject, but for today, I want to set aside "Right" and "Wrong". (Except I'm going to say it's wrong and these people shouldn't be entitled to any special rights or marriage.) Moving on however, should we include a special box for these people? OF COURSE NOT!!! The arguments for the box included: (1) These people feel discriminated against and we should make them feel welcome, (2) They would feel disloyal to themselves to check "Male" when Man! they feel like a woman, and (3) Although you're set up to be a man or woman, being transgender actually takes you out of either category.

This may have been the LAMEST argument I've ever heard. The argumenters completely missed the point. This isn't a question of how a brain is wired, it's a question of how a body is plumbed. Very simple now boys and girls, if you go to the boy bathroom, check male; if you go to the girl bathroom, check female. Got it? It seems to me that if you can take a shower, you can figure out what bathroom you should go to. If a person can correctly identify the plumbing, you can check the box. If you can't identify the plumbing, either, you need to go back to Sex ed, or you're under the knife and should not be filling out law school applications. First, it makes doctors jumpy to operate on lawyers and you don't want a jumpy doctor in this kind of operation. Second, I hope you're not awake for the surgery, cuz that would just suck.

You know, as another totally viable option, you could check one box, both, or neither. It's not a hard problem to solve.

Well, the arguments continued and we explored the area of whether a new bathroom should be installed for these people. We also came up with the policy of making these people feel accepted and welcome. "UC Boulder did it, maybe we could use their model!" That's Boulder for you. We also discussed including language about non-discrimination against weirdos. I voted against the motion, but it passed 20 - 3. Basically, DU will never see a penny of my donations if they decide to become a mistaken-lifestyle-welcoming school.

I have a question for people who claim that homosexuality is an inherent part of their nature. How do they explain how people who feel gay can go to a therapist and with time and counsel begin to not feel gay? Were they not really gay? Or maybe, here we go, gayness is not a part of their natures, it's just something they've accepted as normal and don't want to change. Things to consider. Enough of this post, I'm pretty sure I'll be getting death threats from the rainbow community soon. Just wait until I light into PETA.

There, I hope you've enjoyed our time together today, you know it gets harder and harder to just sit back and enjoy the finer things in life. Well, until next time; ta, ta.